just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize