just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
