Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
