dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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