So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
