Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
