FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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