I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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