dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
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