The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize