I showed him my bush... on skype.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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