I murdered the dance floor call the cops
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
