Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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