in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
