i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
