If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Randomize
