Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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