I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
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I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
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I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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