Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
