dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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