Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
