Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
