i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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