I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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