Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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