doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
