Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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