I will die if light touches me.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
