Old men and throwing up are my life now.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
