erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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