This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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