I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
