never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
