I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
