So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
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Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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