You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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