Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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