the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
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Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize