why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
