today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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