Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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