I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
