Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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