You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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