I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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