i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
