Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
