we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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