Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
