he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize