My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Less talking, more tequila
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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