So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
