im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
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my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
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Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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