I like my sex mixed with concussions.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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