Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
