Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
