dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
