Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
