covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
