so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I would ride that face into the sunset
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
