And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
