My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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