We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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