So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
